Just wanting to write something

It was a busy weekend, but nice.  Well, my intention was for it to be nice, but sometimes what we intend and what actually happens are two different things.  I am choosing to remember the good parts, though: having a picnic in the park, hiking in the Boise foothills, visiting with Barb and Howard, those I the things I am choosing to remember.

So, on to the work week.  Here I am at work again, with so much to do.  The weather is suppose to be beautiful today.  I wish I was nearer to a window so I could actually see it.  I guess I have to trust that it is nice outside. 

We've been watching "Cosmos" on Sunday nights.  I am really glad that Ethan is paying attention and seems to look forward to us all sitting down and discussing it.  It's still a little beyond Corinne. 

Broccoli break

Sixth grade students receive "snacks" in the afternoon -- fruits or vegetables.  Apparently they weren't overly fond of the broccoli, because there is a tub of individually packaged broccoli and little cups of ranch dressing that they didn't want.  I took a picture because I think it's funny that the ranch dressing is labelled "old fashioned."  What exactly makes it "old fashioned"?  Did children eat "Lite" ranch dressing out of little plastic cups in the olden days? 

Midday musings

I hate talking on the phone.  I don't know what it is, but I just don't feel like myself when I have to talk on the phone.  It's like another person has taken over my mouth -- a dorkier, less confident Gretchen, which is saying a lot since I am pretty dorky and not confident off the phone.  This is why email is such a WONDERFUL thing, in my opinion.  Of course, its usefulness all depends on whether or not the person you are writing to actually looks at and answers their email.  There is an awful lot of email ignoring these days.

I am sitting in my office and ABBA is playing on Pandora.  I could really use a nap.  SBAC testing started this week, and everything has been upended.  They've taken over the library for testing, which kind of defeats the purpose of having a library, in my opinion  What's the point of having a place where kids can come check out books and do research if they can't use it for about a month because it is closed for testing?  I'm doing my best, but this is a stressful time of year.  I am trying to concentrate at the tasks at hand, but I keep worrying about the future.  I have never been entirely convinced that I can do this job. I feel like, given time, I can be effective.  But there are so many variables, and just when I think I have it down, I realize I forgot something or should have anticipated something. The real question, that I avoid asking myself, is "Do I want to do this job?"  Some days are better than others, but I feel like I am just sort of faking my way through it. I like my job. I like this school district.  Do I wish that there was a Disney Land in Idaho where I could live out my dream of working there?  Yes.  Do I fantasize about winning the lottery and opening a book store/slash coffee shop with my sisters so we can write children's books together all the while not worrying about making a profit because we are lottery winners and stinking, filthy rich?  Absolutely.  Does part of me want to work with puppies or baby pandas or any variety of marine mammals in some capacity for a living?  You betcha.  If I can't do those things, though, then this is just about the best job I could have.

One in a billion blogs

It is turning out to be a typical night in the Perkins house.  Corinne is watching Brian play Super Mario Bros. on the Wii.  Ethan is working on homework.  Usually his homework is just practicing his violin, but occasionally he has math or reading/English to work on that he didn't finish in class.  Writing is not his favorite thing, which is weird because he is articulate and has a pretty extensive vocabulary.  Or maybe it's weird because I have high expectations for him.  Maybe I want him to be something he's not, or something he isn't ready to be.  It's hard to watch him struggle, especially since writing comes easier to me.  I know it's like torture for him, but what other choice does he have?  We aren't going to just let him give up.

I don't know what I intended to write tonight.  It feels good to just type out some thoughts.  There really isn't anyone I just "talk" to during the day, except Ethan.  He and I talk on the way to school, we eat lunch together, and we talk on the way home after school.  It's kind of nice going to the same school as Ethan, and I am enjoying the fact that he still likes spending time with me.  No one else sits down and has a conversation with me during the day at work.  No one comes around and just talks.  I feel really isolated.  Maybe that's why writing has become so appealing, even though I am writing just to myself.

I haven't come up with a real purpose for this blog.  There must be a billion blogs in the world.  This isn't something I am trying to make a living at.  I just want to write.  Maybe that is enough.

Post-It

The last post before this one was something about it being a whole year since I posted something.  Well, here I am FOUR YEARS LATER posting something! That's nuts.  Is blogging still a thing?  Or is tweeting and facebooking and instagramming the way it's all going?  I've given up facebook for a time.  So, I thought I would get back into blogging.  It almost seems retro.

I am not going to play catch up.  I am just going to start with a picture of my life today.  I am currently a Library Coordinator for the Caldwell School District.  That's my job.  My joy right now is my family, though.  Brian is still at Journal Broadcast Group in Nampa.  Ethan is 12 and a sixth grader, and Corinne is in kindergarten.  We've lived in the same place for 14 years!

I could say more, but I need fodder for future blog posts.  I will say it's raining today.  And I still like to read, although I don't get to read as much as I would like. 

A whole year

Boy, Gretchen, a whole year since you posted something. Where have you been?

Well, Ethan took the death of Bluey Blue surprisingly well. I was almost considering telling him that we sent her to live on a fish farm, where she would have lots of friends and running ponds, but I decided to tell him the truth so he could deal with it. Actually, his reaction was a little scary, in that after I told him as we were walking home from the bus, he starting wringing his hands together somewhat diabolically and he said, "Now it's time for my ULTIMATE plan." Now, I am not sure what that means, and I was a little afraid to ask. But we came home and he helped me get her out of her little bowl. I asked him if he wanted to bury her or flush her down the toilet, and he voted for toilet. I was kind of hoping he would want to bury her so we could go for a "Circle of life" type thing, but he was adamant we flush her. So we carried her into the bathroom on a paper towel, dropped her in, and he flushed her, and that was that.