I'm a pessimist. Those who know me best know this. It was knitted into my very nature while still in my mother's womb. Actually, I consider it "hyper-realism." We all know things can get bad, my mind just goes from best- to worst-case-scenario in less than sixty-seconds. Is it a curse or blessing? Maybe it's a little bit of both. Either way, my glass is half empty, and probably full of harmful microbes that will, at best, give me a mild case of what my son refers to as "danger poop."

So, consider my predicament when every one around me is trying to "look on the bright side of life." Since I love my loved ones, I tolerate their optimism as best I can, but sometimes I just can't take it anymore. Can't they see how BAD things COULD be if they really just thought about it? Yes, it's a nice sunny day but don't you know the rates of skin cancer are sky rocketing? That kind of thing. It drives me a little crazy when people seem to want to totally ignore the danger all around them- (cue ominous music) ALL-AROUND-YOU.

As a service to others, I have decided to create The Pessimists Guide... to virtually everything. I know you unbelievable cheery people want to be happy and remain oblivious to the danger all around you, but really what good has that ever done anyone? The world is a dangerous place. WAKE UP PEOPLE!!