Midday musings

I hate talking on the phone.  I don't know what it is, but I just don't feel like myself when I have to talk on the phone.  It's like another person has taken over my mouth -- a dorkier, less confident Gretchen, which is saying a lot since I am pretty dorky and not confident off the phone.  This is why email is such a WONDERFUL thing, in my opinion.  Of course, its usefulness all depends on whether or not the person you are writing to actually looks at and answers their email.  There is an awful lot of email ignoring these days.

I am sitting in my office and ABBA is playing on Pandora.  I could really use a nap.  SBAC testing started this week, and everything has been upended.  They've taken over the library for testing, which kind of defeats the purpose of having a library, in my opinion  What's the point of having a place where kids can come check out books and do research if they can't use it for about a month because it is closed for testing?  I'm doing my best, but this is a stressful time of year.  I am trying to concentrate at the tasks at hand, but I keep worrying about the future.  I have never been entirely convinced that I can do this job. I feel like, given time, I can be effective.  But there are so many variables, and just when I think I have it down, I realize I forgot something or should have anticipated something. The real question, that I avoid asking myself, is "Do I want to do this job?"  Some days are better than others, but I feel like I am just sort of faking my way through it. I like my job. I like this school district.  Do I wish that there was a Disney Land in Idaho where I could live out my dream of working there?  Yes.  Do I fantasize about winning the lottery and opening a book store/slash coffee shop with my sisters so we can write children's books together all the while not worrying about making a profit because we are lottery winners and stinking, filthy rich?  Absolutely.  Does part of me want to work with puppies or baby pandas or any variety of marine mammals in some capacity for a living?  You betcha.  If I can't do those things, though, then this is just about the best job I could have.