Wednesday, December 3, 2008

Bah humbug

I've put out our Christmas decorations and our tree is up. I even put lights outside (not a lot but some), but I am still not feeling very Christmas-y. I just feel blah. I guess I should say "Blah humbug" then. So far, I am completely without Christmas spirit. I sort of feel more like hibernating. I just want to crawl into some dark hole and sleep.

Thursday, November 20, 2008

Will I ever learn?

Corinne had a very hard time getting to sleep last night, and then after sleeping fitfully all night she woke up at 5:00 a.m. So, I should be catching up on my sleep now that she is sleeping, but instead I am wasting time on the internet. For some reason I got it in my head I want to get Corinne an cuddly bunny wabbit for Christmas, the kind she can hold and slobber all over and then carry around everywhere when she gets older. I got lost on etsy.com because they have the most adorable things, and some of the ugliest things I've ever seen. And then I found tedde.com, which sells the weirdest, uncuddliest, most expensive teddy bears I've ever seen. I just want one, cuddly bunny. Is that too much to ask?

Tuesday, November 18, 2008

I hate it when I think of something I need to get from another room, and then forget what it was that I was looking for by the time I get there. This is something old people do. I don't want to be old :(.

Thursday, November 13, 2008

So, 7 years ago...

Today is Ethan's 7th birthday. We actually had the big party with his aunts, uncles, cousins, and grandparents over the weekend when everyone could get together. Tonight Brian, Corinne and I took him to Red Robin (his choice) where a group of enthusiastic servers sang happy birthday to him and gave him a sunday. I made cupcakes for him to take to his Tiger Scout meeting tonight. He was pretty wired after the sunday, and I am bracing myself for when he comes because he may be unbelievably hyper or completely crashed. I think he is having a happy birthday, though, despite the fact he missed the bus this morning and we had to walk home in the rain and get there before Brian left for work. But I think the day has improved for him since. It's also kind of neat that tonight there is a full moon, since he is so interested in space related things. I can't believe he's 7! My baby boy is growing up *sniff*.

Wednesday, November 12, 2008

Four things I need to get off my chest

1. What has happened to Heroes?? It use to be a great show, but this season it's dying a slow death. Not one episode has lived up to the potential is showed in its first season. I think my disappointment started in the first episode, when Sylar finally caught up with Claire. For two seasons Sylar has been the somewhat unstoppable bad guy, and they convinced us that if Sylar ever got ahold of Claire and her power of regeneration, he would kill her and then he would take over the world. I mean, the first season was all about keeping Claire safe from Sylar with the implication being who knows what bad things might happen. Then in the first episode of Season 3, he catches up with Claire, the thing we were suppose to fear happening for two seasons, and it ends up being the most anti-climatic scene in the history of television. Sylar took her power, and we found out Sylar couldn't kill her if he wanted to. WHAT!?!? THAT'S IT!?!? And the season has just gotten worse. So disappointing.
2. While Heroes is disappointing, Fringe just keeps getting better and better. Now, if ABC would just give Pushing Daisies the chance it deserves and not threaten to cancel it...
3. Yesterday it was raining when I went to pick Ethan up at the bus stop. Since we only have one car and it takes Brian to work everyday, I usually put Corinne in the stroller and meet Ethan in the afternoon. The rain wasn't any inconvenience. I found an umbrella in the garage, and Corinne's stroller has a rain shield type thing, plus I am the kind of person who loves the rain for the most part, so we happily walked the short distance to the bus stop. Of the kids who take the bus, we seem to live the farthest away, and there are about three moms with younger kids that see them off to the bus and pick them up everyday. Usually everyone walks to get their kids, but yesterday I was the only one who did so in the rain. The other moms drove. I have a certain pride in this. Mostly it's because I think driving your mini-van/SUV a half a block just so you and your child don't have to take a little walk in the rain is silly. What really annoys me is the one family who drives their kid to the bus stop every morning and then sits there with their SUV running while waiting for the bus. Their house is but 5 houses from the bus stop! This morning, they parked right where the bus stops so that we all had to stand there and smell their exhaust while we waited *eye roll*. If they don't want their child to have to wait in the cold for the bus, why don't they just DRIVE HIM TO SCHOOL?! We like a mile from the school. I think they would burn just as much gas if they drove him to school as they do driving him to the bus stop (that is just 5 HOUSES AWAY) and then sitting there with the engine idling for 5 or more minutes while waiting for the bus. Another thing that bothers me about the bus stop are the all the hooligans that run around and hurt themselves and others, but that's another post for another day.
4. I hate the cold virus in all its incarnations, especially since one has invaded my house and is picking us off one by one. Ethan and Brian have been coughing and sneezing since the weekend. Then last night Corinne came down with a runny nose and this morning she is running a fever. Curse you, rhino virus!!

Tuesday, November 11, 2008


I usually hate pictures of myself, but Corinne looks so cute I like it despite my presence there. It was taken when we all went to get pumpkins at Linder Farms south of Meridian. And when I say "all" I mean there were about 16 adults and kids, all trying to find that perfect, round pumpkin. It was Corinne's first hay ride AND first pumpkin, so it was a big day for her. From the picture you can see it was an absolutely gorgeous fall day, and there were hundreds of other families milling about, enjoying the petting zoo, jump houses, corn maze, and various other activities there. Ethan also pick out his pumpkin, one of three because he got two more at Scouts. We carved his into a jack-o-lantern that we put a lit candle into on Halloween. Now he is observing how long it will take to decay. It's teeth are sort of sinking in, and everyday when he comes home from school it checks to see what critters are hiding beneath it. He's found slugs, pill bugs, a stinkbug, and some sort of centipede like thing. Speaking of Ethan we celebrated his birthday over the weekend. Saturday we had a little treasure hunt which ended in him finding a surprise Spiderman Pinata in the garage. After whacking the snot (I mean candy) out of that he opened his presents, then we headed to Smoky Mountain Pizza. Grandma, Papa, Nana, Pappy, Grandma Murray, Pam, Chad, Leah, Jon, Melissa, Jackson, Jen, Mike, Ellie, Olivia, and of course Brian, Corinne, and I were all there. I think he had a great party, and on Thursday (his actual birthday) he wants to go to Red Robin so they can sing happy birthday to him and then take treats to his Scout meeting. I can't believe he's almost 7!

Tuesday, November 4, 2008

yay for democracy

For the record, I voted. Brian and I got absentee ballots, and we mailed them in last week. While voting absentee was so convenient, and I felt like I could sit down and really consider who I wanted to give my vote to, my pessimist side is a little worried about it getting lost in the mail. Oh well. While I would like to see my candidate win, I am of the opinion that either candidate will serve the country well. So, I guess we'll see what happens.

Monday, November 3, 2008

Can you believe it's November already?? Where did October slink off to? Well, apparently I was tagged, so I thought I would play along.

8 Favorite TV shows

Current favorites:
Pushing Daisies
Lost
30 Rock
The Office
Heroes
24
Doctor Who (although I watch this mostly on DVD and reruns on PBS)
Masterpiece

Past Favorites:
Little House on the Prairie
Star Trek: The Next Generation
Northern Exposure
Veronica Mars
The X-Files



8 Favorite Restaurants
Epi's
Mona Lisa/Melting Pot (both fondue restaurants)
The Sand Bar
The Outback
Sonic
The Cazbah
Aladdin's
Gerties

8 Things that happened yesterday
it rained

we went to church and I spent most of Sunday School and morning service in the nursery with Corinne
Ethan and I drew on the driveway with sidewalk chalk
I watched some season 2 episodes of ST:TNG, America's Funniest Home Videos, Amazing Race, and Masterpiece: Contemporary
I made a loaf of bread using a banana bread recipe but instead of bananas I used a jar of pears Pam and I canned a couple of years ago
We watched puppies on a puppy cam
I didn't eat dinner or take a nap like I desperately wanted to, and I stayed up too late.

8 Things I look forward to
This election being over and done with.
Next weekend because everyone will be here to celebrate Ethan's 7th birthday.
The next time Brian and I are able to go out on a real date.
The whole holiday season, especially Thanksgiving.
Our parent/teacher conference with Ethan's teacher (actually I'm kind of anxious about that one).
All of Corinne and Ethan's "firsts".
Someday maybe life making some sense.

8 Things I love about Fall
Getting to wear sweatpants again.
Not feeling oppressed by the heat.
Cold November rain (thanks Guns and Roses)
Thanksgiving
The end of daylight savings time
Hot tea/chocolate/cider
Feeling like you still have PLENTY of time to get your Christmas shopping done
Pumpkins

8 Things on my wishlist
Taking a trip to Disneyland.
Find a way to make money from home
An elf would magically appear and get all the laundry washed, folded, and put away during the night
That our government would ratify the Kyoto Protocol or at least do something equally responsible to reduce our greenhouse emissions
That my family would remain healthy and happy
That we could travel more
That I could live by the ocean
That I could stick to something long enough to be successful at it.

I guess I tag Jen and Brian, if they read this.

Wednesday, October 8, 2008

Fall... pessimist style

I like it that it is getting cooler and fall is here, but there are a few reasons why I dread this season:
1. Those little floaty spider webs. I HATE those. I am not overly found of spiders, particularly since one (a brown recluse, no less) decided to bite me when I was 11 and instead of giving me the ability to climb up walls and shoot spider webs from my wrists it left me with a gaping hole where my side used to be. Eww is right! I haven't been able to forgive the little buggers ever since, any of them. And I hate how they leave their webs everywhere, and those little strings seem to be floating around me where ever I go. What's worse is I realize these are substances that have shot STRAIGHT OUT OF A SPIDER'S LITTLE BUM!!!
2. House flies. We haven't had a fly in our house all summer, and now since there is just the tiniest hint of a chill in the air they think they are somehow welcome to come crash at my place for the winter. What makes it worse is we don't seem to own a fly swatter, so the little devil flies around all afternoon and has decided that my upper lip makes the perfect landing pad.
3. Trying to figure out what to wear. It's cold in the morning so you put on pants and long sleeves. Then it decides to warm up in the afternoon and your roasting. So you put on short sleeves and capris, and then before you know it it's freezing again. Along with this is trying to figure out when to turn on your furnace for the first time.
4. Trying to help my indecisive 6 year old decide what to be for Halloween. Although this year he is pretty sure he wants to be a robot. Pity I don't know how to weld or write complicated computer programs. Nah, we'll just use cardboard boxes and duct tape.
5. Realizing there's only a couple months til Christmas. My mother-in-law (bless her) already has all her presents wrapped. I'll be lucky if I'm not frantically running around on Christmas Eve trying to find any open stores so I can begin my shopping.
6. Realizing I'm not thankful enough for all that I have. Oh sure, on Thanksgiving I pause to think about all the blessings I have, but really shouldn't that be the point of everyday? So what if there are spider webs and annoying flies? So what if I have to change clothes or "layer" in order to make it properly clothed through the day? I have so much to be thankful for, so many things to thank God for. Maybe I'll be able to focus on that, instead of the spider webs, and annoying flies, etc., etc.

Wednesday, October 1, 2008

I love my kids!!

I took this picture yesterday and thought it was too cute not to share. Brian had 50 free prints from Costco that had to be used, so I thought I would snap a few pictures of the kids. The size difference between their heads cracks me up.

Friday, September 26, 2008

I haven't been at my best the last couple of days. Corinne hasn't been sleeping very well. She ran a fever all Wednesday night/Thursday morning, was cranky and out of sorts, so consequently I didn't get much sleep. I thought I was handling sleep deprivation pretty well until yesterday afternoon when Ethan was whining about doing his homework. Let's just avoid the messy details and say I had a meltdown. It happens, and I think we've both recovered. I hope today is better, but again I didn't get much sleep last night. Corinne was coughing a little. Nothing too bad, but of course I couldn't sleep for worrying about her. Plus, the news this morning sounds pretty bleak, so right now I hold out little hope for today.

I may do some coloring later. I know that may sound weird or irresponsible, but I think it would help. Sometimes it's just nice to "revert", you know? Go back to something that made you feel good as a kid. I would draw, but coloring is less involved, and I'm not very artistic anyway. Another option is to watch a funny movie, but I'm not feeling very decisive today so I might color while watching a funny movie. This may be the best way to cope with today.

Wednesday, September 24, 2008

I had lots of ideas today for a "Pessimists Guide to [something]," but Corinne had her 4 month "well-baby" doctor appointment today and the inevitable shots have left her feeling quite unwell I'm afraid. Normally she is such a good baby, and very happy, but this afternoon she cried for 1/2 hour straight so I know she isn't feeling well. I HATE it when my kids are sick! I just want to take all their pain away. Wouldn't it be great if there was some way you could do that? Like, if you just held their face like Spock does when he does his Vulcan mind meld, and took all their pain and experienced it yourself so they didn't have to. I worry that Corinne thinks I betrayed her, too. What if she blames me for all this pain she doesn't understand? I just want to hold her forever right now, until she believes me that everything is going to be okay and that she'll feel better tomorrow. Of course, I also am feeling very worried and over-protective right now, worried that it's a bad reaction to the shots or something. I just want her to be okay, that's all.

Tuesday, September 23, 2008

I'm a pessimist. Those who know me best know this. It was knitted into my very nature while still in my mother's womb. Actually, I consider it "hyper-realism." We all know things can get bad, my mind just goes from best- to worst-case-scenario in less than sixty-seconds. Is it a curse or blessing? Maybe it's a little bit of both. Either way, my glass is half empty, and probably full of harmful microbes that will, at best, give me a mild case of what my son refers to as "danger poop."

So, consider my predicament when every one around me is trying to "look on the bright side of life." Since I love my loved ones, I tolerate their optimism as best I can, but sometimes I just can't take it anymore. Can't they see how BAD things COULD be if they really just thought about it? Yes, it's a nice sunny day but don't you know the rates of skin cancer are sky rocketing? That kind of thing. It drives me a little crazy when people seem to want to totally ignore the danger all around them- (cue ominous music) ALL-AROUND-YOU.

As a service to others, I have decided to create The Pessimists Guide... to virtually everything. I know you unbelievable cheery people want to be happy and remain oblivious to the danger all around you, but really what good has that ever done anyone? The world is a dangerous place. WAKE UP PEOPLE!!

Tuesday, September 16, 2008

This morning when I walked Ethan to the bus, the moon was still out. I believe it must be pretty close to full. It was just... stunning. After my son got on the bus, and we went through our morning ritual of blowing each other kisses and hugs through the bus window, I walked home in all this morning splendor, with the world waking up around me and the gorgeous moon in the sky. It was hard not to become contemplative, so I thought about nature and was struck almost immediately with this question: did God have something against the dinosaurs? I thought of that verse in the Bible that says something about God caring about sparrows and giving them what they need, so what did the dinosaurs do, or any extinct species for that matter, that made God smite them so? I have no answers.

Friday, August 29, 2008

I love being a mom. It's hard to explain, I just do. I never thought I would like it this much, but I do. Of course, there is much to worry over. And believe you me, if there is one thing I am good at, it's worrying. Sometimes the "what-ifs" keep me up at night, and all the time my stomach is tied in knots thinking of horrible possibilities. So, I try to focus on just today, and my kids really do help keep me in the present. It's hard to worry about tomorrow when lunches and bottles need to be made, teeth need brushed, diapers need changed... all those little things that fill up days and make getting out of bed not only worthwhile but absolutely vital to your family's survival (have you ever tried to change a diaper while lying flat on your back in bed? Can't be done.)

Corinne stayed up passed midnight in her crib. She was swaddled and seemed comfortable, and I sang every song I could think to her. She liked that. She even seemed to make little noises like she was trying to sing along. She was just lying there in her darkened room, listening to me sing with a smile that couldn't even be obscured by her pacifier. And even though my body was desperate for sleep, I couldn't leave her crib side, because at that moment I was completely in the present, worried about nothing, just watching my baby daughter watching me in the half-light of her room.

This morning, like every morning for the last week and a half, I walked Ethan to his bus stop. I am not a morning person at all, but getting up to help get Ethan ready for his day definitely isn't the chore I thought it was going to be, particularly since our walk together has become one of the only moments during the day that we have where it's just the two of us. We talk about the kinds of things six-year-olds care about. For instance, this morning we talked about what we dreamed about last night. In the adult world we complain about the high price of gas, the war in Iraq, the upcoming election, etc., etc. Worry, worry, and more worry. Yet Ethan doesn't have those worries, and that's not what he talks about so I allow myself to forget about all that and just enjoy the morning and the short walk with my son.

No, I haven't eradicated worry from my life. While my kids do help remind me of what's important in my life, I worry a lot about them, too. Yet, thankfully, there are moments with them that calm my anxious heart and tame the "what-ifs".

Friday, August 22, 2008

I haven't showered since Tuesday. True story.